[it won't be too long before she does. actually, flying is a great idea, and she touches down on that balcony with a little energy burned out but her thoughts none the better. it's clear from her face that she's distressed over something, but she does have enough manners to be able to say:]
[ the distress can't be any clearer on her face even if she tried. ]
Thank you. Please, do come in.
[ the apartment is airy and eclectically designed -- perfect for two western wizards trying to get by in a modern environment. she leads emily towards the living room, urging her to sit on the plush couch as two cups of tea and saucer fly in from the counter and land neatly on the coffee table. it's earl grey, ftr. ]
Come to think of it, this might be the first time I'd willingly invited someone to my abode.
[ something light-hearted first before going into the nitty-gritty. ]
I don't mind. In fact, it's much more exciting that way.
[ he's had catboys and cat-adjacents crawl into his place all the time. they're cute, and they trust shylock enough to come all this way. why would he ever be bothered?
shylock watches her explain her predicament, his eyes blinking as he remembers. ]
Oh, you'd gotten yours as well? [ he offers a reassuring smile. ] I'd just come back from milady herself. She deemed me trustworthy to promote me.
It makes sense, for someone like you. You've got charm, people want to listen to what you say, you're smart and you have an eye for business, you're powerful and you don't shy away from the uglier sides of things. Anyone would be lucky to have you on their team, to have you somewhere that people can look up to you. She won't regret it.
[she looks down into the depths of her cup.]
...I'll have to quit singing. There's no time for things like that now.
Is that so... I'm sorry. I'm sure you loved doing it, and you shouldn't have to quit for any other reason than you simply wanted a break.
[ but when is emily never not tired, is the question. ]
But likewise, the Daitengu deemed you worthy enough. You're the one who worked endlessly during the blood rain, and everyone does look up to you for your simplicity and diligence. I could not think of anyone else in the Alliance who is more deserving.
[ he takes a sip of his tea. ]
Now, while you may be right about those things you said about me, we wizards of the West are known as wildcards. We don't like authority, and the authority doesn't like us. We live and breathe as we please, and we easily lose interest. Truth be told, I was greatly opposed of the proposition of the underground takeover a few months back. [ he shakes his head with a short laugh. ] I'd easily turn the Tamamo Clan upside down and destroy it from the inside if I could. But I won't, because that won't be too fun. Probably.
As if she doesn't know. From all I can see, her way is to let you have the freedom you would to act as you please. Even if it would lead to utter chaos and revolt. If you're yourself, then you're acting in accordance.
[looking back up, she's glad he isn't making her feel guilty for the doubts. it's why she had to come to him, spill her heart, because she can't bear to pretend to be not about it yet.]
I have. But I decided not to, because being in the Tamamo Clan has been delightful thus far. That being said, if things turn for the worse, I won't hesitate to turn tail and go back to my bar to resume my usual business.
[ this is exactly why he is unfit to lead. too easygoing, and his priorities can shift at a drop of a hat. such is the wildcard nature of western wizards. ]
...I don't know. I suppose I simply accepted it and adapted to it, as I would have wherever in the city laid claim to me. I don't have any personal attachment, but because I live with it, I want to see it succeed.
[liking is very different from making the best of it.]
[she says it quietly, as if someone would overhear, take it and cast judgement, reiterate that she is unfit for this. she can only tell him, because she knows he will not find it a flaw.]
I know. [ he says it just as solemnly. ] It's never not daunting, to have so many responsibilities suddenly placed on your shoulders when you're already carrying this much. But fear and anxieties don't always have to be a weakness. Frankly, if you weren't nervous about the whole thing, it either means you're overconfident with the tasks you have on hand, or you simply do not care. And I know for the fact that you aren't the latter, Emily.
[ she cares too much, in fact. which would probably be a weakness for most medical professionals who need to be neutral in the face of death, but it doesn't always have to be this way. one must strike a balance. ]
Furthermore, you won't be alone in that rank. I'm rather familiar with Ryouma and Mr. Matoba, and they seem to be very good at what they do. All you have to do is ask them for assistance, like how you approached me today.
If you knew how much I have to keep Ryouma from hurling himself into more danger...
[she sighs, but it's an unconscious reflex, seeking comfort, for her hand to find his own and hold it. an anchor instead of getting lost in her own thoughts.]
I know he'll stand behind me. That he'll be happy for me, which I don't know if I can stomach right now. It's...if I trip and fall over my feet as myself, then it's only me that deals with the aftermath. If this happens when I'm meant to keep the rest of the clan in mind, then it means I haven't done my duty right by them. That's what's so fearsome.
[ ahh, yes. ryouma. shylock does like the guy for being very entertaining, at the behest of his own life.
he listens, nods, and moves his hands so that they're covering emily's. she's at it again, trying to shoulder all the duties and be expected to be blamed for them. ]
But that's it, Emily. You are no longer alone, and there is strength in numbers. If you trip and fall as yourself, then let others catch you as yourself. Like how I have you here right now.
[ he smiles. ]
Perhaps this is the Daitengu's way of telling you that you'll need other people's assistance now more than ever. And that it is all right to do that. Other members of the Alliance would kill to be in my position right now, to help the Emily Dyer with whatever she needs.
[looking to him, to that smile, she wishes she could trust it without abandon. in this light, anyone would - with a voice that could soothe away her doubts, gentle enough to calm a spooked heart, and no need for it to be raised. his hands, warm and steady, holding hers and keeping her breathing, in one place. his eyes, the same shade as the autumn dahlias she had paused to look at in the shop window just the other day.(and is that why? had she known, in some thought swimming under the surface, to mark the color?) anyone would trust a smile that inviting, want to touch it just to see if it's real, that this isn't a dream that leaves one weeping because it's over.
it's not entirely a conscious thing, drifting a little closer into his orbit. she could say something bold, could make it sly and quip accordingly and pack up all this vulnerability and trade familiar remarks-]
And what if I don't know what I need? Where do we go from there?
[it's more honest than she meant it to be, and there's the inner desire to push it away, laugh it off somehow - but she's going to let it stand, because she wants to believe him. to be helped, like she's helped others so many times. it might be terrifying, but it's there. not knowing is enough to confess to.
because she does trust him, just not in a way to follow without a thought of her own.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2022-09-14 07:12 pm (UTC)[ they could talk at the bar, but... idk let's just say it's his day off or something. a new backdrop would be more beneficial, he thinks. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-09-14 07:15 pm (UTC)[she doesn't need either of the people with keys to walk in during this.]
no subject
Date: 2022-09-14 07:25 pm (UTC)Feel free to swoop in at the attic balcony, if that's what you prefer.
[ he was going to offer that he'll fly her up here, but she already has wings so... ]
no subject
Date: 2022-09-14 07:35 pm (UTC)You have a lovely home.
[it's important to acknowledge that.]
no subject
Date: 2022-09-14 07:45 pm (UTC)Thank you. Please, do come in.
[ the apartment is airy and eclectically designed -- perfect for two western wizards trying to get by in a modern environment. she leads emily towards the living room, urging her to sit on the plush couch as two cups of tea and saucer fly in from the counter and land neatly on the coffee table. it's earl grey, ftr. ]
Come to think of it, this might be the first time I'd willingly invited someone to my abode.
[ something light-hearted first before going into the nitty-gritty. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-09-14 07:57 pm (UTC)So most of the time people come over despite your wishes? That sounds a bit hazardous.
[but the tea is appreciated, bracing, and the warmth of the cup in her hands helps. deep breaths. it's safe here.]
...The Daitengu saw fit to promote me. I'm a lieutenant now.
[please, please do not say it's a good thing.]
I tried to turn it down, but...
no subject
Date: 2022-09-16 09:58 am (UTC)[ he's had catboys and cat-adjacents crawl into his place all the time. they're cute, and they trust shylock enough to come all this way. why would he ever be bothered?
shylock watches her explain her predicament, his eyes blinking as he remembers. ]
Oh, you'd gotten yours as well? [ he offers a reassuring smile. ] I'd just come back from milady herself. She deemed me trustworthy to promote me.
[ then, a wry laugh. ]
I wonder if she'll ever regret that decision.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-16 10:18 am (UTC)[she looks down into the depths of her cup.]
...I'll have to quit singing. There's no time for things like that now.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-16 10:30 am (UTC)Is that so... I'm sorry. I'm sure you loved doing it, and you shouldn't have to quit for any other reason than you simply wanted a break.
[ but when is emily never not tired, is the question. ]
But likewise, the Daitengu deemed you worthy enough. You're the one who worked endlessly during the blood rain, and everyone does look up to you for your simplicity and diligence. I could not think of anyone else in the Alliance who is more deserving.
[ he takes a sip of his tea. ]
Now, while you may be right about those things you said about me, we wizards of the West are known as wildcards. We don't like authority, and the authority doesn't like us. We live and breathe as we please, and we easily lose interest. Truth be told, I was greatly opposed of the proposition of the underground takeover a few months back. [ he shakes his head with a short laugh. ] I'd easily turn the Tamamo Clan upside down and destroy it from the inside if I could. But I won't, because that won't be too fun. Probably.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-16 10:45 am (UTC)[looking back up, she's glad he isn't making her feel guilty for the doubts. it's why she had to come to him, spill her heart, because she can't bear to pretend to be not about it yet.]
...Did you think about turning her down?
no subject
Date: 2022-09-17 11:08 am (UTC)[ this is exactly why he is unfit to lead. too easygoing, and his priorities can shift at a drop of a hat. such is the wildcard nature of western wizards. ]
Now. Do you like the Alliance, Emily?
no subject
Date: 2022-09-17 08:36 pm (UTC)[liking is very different from making the best of it.]
no subject
Date: 2022-09-19 12:07 pm (UTC)And would you run away, if given the chance?
no subject
Date: 2022-09-19 08:01 pm (UTC)[not again. she'd lost too many years to running away, and here, where no one knows...she has the opportunity to not make that mistake again.]
no subject
Date: 2022-09-21 12:59 pm (UTC)Then you must know what to do from here. Even if you don't at the moment, it'll soon come to you.
[ if she doesn't want to run away, then she has no other choice. there's no other way but up, after all. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-09-21 06:51 pm (UTC)Oh Shylock, I'm frightened.
[she says it quietly, as if someone would overhear, take it and cast judgement, reiterate that she is unfit for this. she can only tell him, because she knows he will not find it a flaw.]
no subject
Date: 2022-09-23 09:46 pm (UTC)[ she cares too much, in fact. which would probably be a weakness for most medical professionals who need to be neutral in the face of death, but it doesn't always have to be this way. one must strike a balance. ]
Furthermore, you won't be alone in that rank. I'm rather familiar with Ryouma and Mr. Matoba, and they seem to be very good at what they do. All you have to do is ask them for assistance, like how you approached me today.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-24 03:55 am (UTC)[she sighs, but it's an unconscious reflex, seeking comfort, for her hand to find his own and hold it. an anchor instead of getting lost in her own thoughts.]
I know he'll stand behind me. That he'll be happy for me, which I don't know if I can stomach right now. It's...if I trip and fall over my feet as myself, then it's only me that deals with the aftermath. If this happens when I'm meant to keep the rest of the clan in mind, then it means I haven't done my duty right by them. That's what's so fearsome.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-26 08:57 am (UTC)he listens, nods, and moves his hands so that they're covering emily's. she's at it again, trying to shoulder all the duties and be expected to be blamed for them. ]
But that's it, Emily. You are no longer alone, and there is strength in numbers. If you trip and fall as yourself, then let others catch you as yourself. Like how I have you here right now.
[ he smiles. ]
Perhaps this is the Daitengu's way of telling you that you'll need other people's assistance now more than ever. And that it is all right to do that. Other members of the Alliance would kill to be in my position right now, to help the Emily Dyer with whatever she needs.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-26 11:38 am (UTC)it's not entirely a conscious thing, drifting a little closer into his orbit. she could say something bold, could make it sly and quip accordingly and pack up all this vulnerability and trade familiar remarks-]
And what if I don't know what I need? Where do we go from there?
[it's more honest than she meant it to be, and there's the inner desire to push it away, laugh it off somehow - but she's going to let it stand, because she wants to believe him. to be helped, like she's helped others so many times. it might be terrifying, but it's there. not knowing is enough to confess to.
because she does trust him, just not in a way to follow without a thought of her own.]